Love…


What is Love?

That is a question that I had pondered for many, many years. My sister and I used to have long discussions about “love”.

What is it? How do you know if you are in love? What does it feel like? When a guy says “I love you” to you, how do you know it’s real?

I discovered over the years what is not love and what IS love.

The first time anyone said “I love you” to me…I fell for it… hard. No one had ever said that to me before. What a wonderful feeling to hear someone say that to you!

Many years later, after that first love experience, I learned from one of Dr. Tae Yun Kim’s books that in order for you to truly find love, you must love yourself FIRST. Seven Steps to Inner Power

I didn’t really understand that at first…but it makes sense to me now.

The first time that guy said “I love you” to me…I fell for it because I didn’t love myself. I wanted so much to be loved … to feel love… but I just didn’t know how to love myself so I had to look outside myself for that love.

In my relationship with that guy, it was going too fast…and I asked for some space, to just be friends and he freaked out…broke up with me. A week later, he apologized and I took him back, much to the chagrin of my sister and her feminist friends.  Why did I take him back?  Because I was so unsure of myself and convinced that since I was unlovable, and he said “I love you”, then we were meant to be together.  Wrong.

Funny, you wouldn’t normally think of learning about “love” and “self-love” through a martial art…but I did at Jung SuWon.  Part of the code of ethics at Jung SuWon is “I will learn to love myself, and maintain loyalty to my goals and purpose.”  So that’s pretty cool.

Anyway, after 14 months, when our relationship finally hit the roof, I finally came to a realization that it was a good thing that it ended.  It hurt.  I suffered for more than a year afterwards…but it was way healthier for me.

After I started training at Jung SuWon, and reading Dr. Kim’s books, and having classes with Dr. Kim…I learned that I really needed to focus on my Self. I realized that I didn’t really love myself and in many ways, I hated who I was. Over time, that changed, and as I started to love myself more and more, I was able to feel and receive true love from someone who is my soulmate.

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