Training at Jung SuWon… continuation…

Have you ever had the feeling inside that you just didn’t belong?  That no matter how hard you tried to “fit in”, things just didn’t feel right?  When I was in college, I did a lot of things… participated in a lot of activities…but I never seemed to find the place where I felt like I belonged.  I was a leaf blowing in the wind…no direction, no purpose.

After I got my first yellow belt at Jung SuWon in 1991, my training went to a deeper level.  I discovered that I was hungry to learn more and more. I discovered something that I was good at, something that I could excel at. I discovered people who I enjoyed being with.  Though we were all from different backgrounds, different ages, we shared a common love for training at Jung SuWon.

It was a spiritual hunger for Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim‘s teachings and wisdom.  This was something that I had been searching for for my entire life.

I remember when I was about 10 years old…I used to watch all the kung fu – martial arts – black belt theater movies on Saturday afternoons…with my huge bowl of airpopped popcorn…smothered in butter and salt…and a tall glass of ice cold Coke (*fyi, I drank my last Coke on Friday, Aug 23, 1991…that’s another story!)…I dreamed of running away to the mountains of Korea and training with a true Master.  Bruce Lee was my idol.  A couple of times, I left the house and walked…as if I were going to run away… wishing that I had the courage and the knowledge to do it… I felt so alone at times, even in a room full of people.

I remember having long discussions with my sister when we were in college… about “love”.  What it was…what it felt like…how did you know when you were “in love”?

I know that I have talked about it before, but it is really true.  In Great Grandmaster Kim’s book, Seven Steps to Inner Power, she talks about how you have to love yourself before you can truly find love with your partner in life.  It is so true.

I never felt grounded about myself. I never loved myself. No wonder I always felt so lonely.

After training for a few years, I started to realize what Love really was all about. And it felt really good.

I wish more people could experience this feeling.  Whenever I read about quick marriages and divorces and new marriages and more divorces in Hollywood, I just wonder how life would be different for all those people if they could just experience what I have experienced in my life…the lessons that I have learned from Great Grandmaster Kim about life, about self-love, self-worth, self-respect…

What a different world we would be living in…


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